Time to live and travel time. Chapter 1, 2
Chapter 1. India. Famous, unknown and impossible
In the time of my childhood, I often saw Indian films. True, mostly my parents watched them, and not me. But I remember well what they sang a lot, how the actors and how emotionally stressed the plot was.
Although all the films of Bollywood are similar in the plot, in their center there is a mandatory theme of love, and the dramatic heat there is akin to cool Hollywood militants, nevertheless there are their own special warm atmosphere of the holiday, coziness and family.
But movies movies, and for some time, India disappeared from my field of view and did not appear there until I started to get involved in the music and records of the Beatles group. Then there were yoga classes, reading various esoteric to expand the horizons.
If I learned about India from well-usual communication to my time, for example, the Internet or books, earlier, 100 years old with a little back, something completely extraordinary should have happened so that people would give about this overseas country. And such an event really happened.
At the end of the 19th century, the future emperor of Russia Nicholas II visited India and brought from there a large collection of various types of art creations. Subsequently, an exhibition was organized in the winter palace.
By the way to say, one of the guests of the exhibition was young. TO. Roerich and it was both for him and for the whole our people, the first visual acquaintance with India.
Interest in this unknown country continued to grow and soon began translating the works of Indian philosophers and poets.
In 1915, the first Buddhist temple in Russia opened in St. Petersburg.
But, perhaps, the most significant contribution to the opening of India for the Western world, Nikolai Konstantinovich Roerich, who having completed his travels in Asia, created paintings and philosophical works — I introduced us to this country:
«Art will unite humanity, art is uniform and inseparable. He has a lot of branches, but the root is one», — so spoke Rerich to his contemporaries.
And one very curious fact that occupied me was connected with him.
Nikolai Konstantinovich worried the question of the general roots of Russia and Asia and that’s what I found about it in his writings: «I am very curious, whether two influences on our art — Byzantine and western or even easternly eastern? In some way I find vague instructions on it».
I also became interested, how so attracts many people from the modern Western world, this unknown and distant southern country and I began to dig.
A few years ago, I was already in Asia, the truth is a lot of south of India, in the area of the equator. It was my first such experience. Everything looked as if on another planet. Rather, I felt a creature with another planet, and the locals, just, looked very organic. I wondered «What about us between us and where to look for the answer?!».
Definitely there was a layer that divided our worldview. And this layer was huge. I wanted to get to the truth and decided to start looking for an answer in the life of local residents. I began to watch. After some time, I had a theory, but before giving it publicer, I needed to check it in practice.
To explore the island more in more detail and get into his heart, I needed a car. There, ordinary peasants live from civilization, the most indigenous people live, the existence of which continues to be built on full contact with nature. They are mainly engaged in agriculture, grow rice and other cultures, sell them all over the island, but they do not have any contact with civilization. They live according to their rules, according to tradition, believe in the ancient gods. It may seem that they surrounded themselves with vacuum from the rest of the island, but it is not. Their existence is holistic, and their children will live in exactly. Such life is built around other incentives, which exist in the rest of the modern world. In contrast to them, turned out to be cut off from nature and our being develops on the path of materialism.
To clarify a lot for yourself, I needed to get to these residents. I wanted to expand the horizons of my life experience and see that you can live differently and be happy.
Leaving the hotel, I just went on the road and began to vote. One, another driver — everyone refused to go so far from the center, the trip to the other end of the island did not interest them.
Seeing that I am still standing from half an hour, some man on the other side of the street began to wave my hands and in every way to attract my attention. According to the form, he looked like a policeman, or on the guard. When I approached him, it turned out that he just wanted to help the lost traveler. I explained to him that I am looking for a car for the whole day, on which I could go around the whole island. He thought a little, said he knows such a person and began to call someone. While I was waiting for an answer, in my head there were thoughts about what should be on guard and before agreed to agree.
5 minutes later, his friend named Bagus joined us and I had to talk about my goals about the intended route and action plan. After a little thought, Bagus agreed to help me, this is what he always and deals — Helps trails in movement in the island. Well, fine!
Not only that we immediately agreed on the money, and he also approved my route unchanged. I, however, did not believe that everything was so safely and subconsciously still expected a trick for some time. I am always incredal to a new acquaintance, but it quickly passes.
Saying goodbye to the guard, and we went to the parking lot nearby. In the car, we once again spoken the route and the price — Everything turned out in order and now we could put forward. Deal! We are!
In the car, I still kept incredulously, even closed and Bagus, noticing my embarrassment, began a casual dialogue. Over time, I let go and I began to observe. I remembered my goal, for which I went there, deep into the island, where I could understand the reason why the Western man does not look like the eastern?!
In addition to stereotypes and template answers, I tried to find something more unknown, what is not striking, but indicates the very essence.
After a day of search, the answer came from a completely unexpected side. The answer came from Bagusa. But about this later…
Collecting information for the trip, one video on Youtube was accidentally caught my eyes, where a similar question was raised. The video said about the worldview of the German philosophers, in particular, a special picture of the world was proposed, which Friedrich Nietzsche referred to Friedrich, however, in his case, it was about the concept of art, but in my opinion life — this is one of the types of art, but only the most difficult and unique.
The essence of the concept of Nietzsche with simple words outlined Bagus. This happened unexpectedly at the moment when we discussed the religiousness of the inhabitants of the island. Religion without faith does not happen, and faith always goes out of the heart, so we shared our vision with each other.
Bagus said: it follows both heart and mind. In proportion 50 to 50.
So he lives, so he looks at the world and interacts with him. If there is a breakdown, it refuses to return the equality of thought and spirit. If the solution does not contradict the concept and is harmonious for everyone, it is taken with ease and the consequences of actions do not harm neither the heart, nor mind, but on the contrary satisfy them.
Concept of the worldview of Bagusa — This is the result of life experience. Method of trial and error.
But if earlier people lived otherwise and in essence there was no division between the heart and reason: you just chose one side and lived according to choice all my life. Someone chose to live in the heart, and someone — at the Tip Mal. Either one or another.
But here the antagonism is clearly traced. When one is opposed to another. And only experience allows you to identify for yourself, and only you, a unique way.
With the concept of Bagus, everything is clear to me, and what did Nietzsche spoke on this subject and can I somehow use his conclusions in my study in relation to the differences in Western and Eastern Life Philosophies?!
So, Nietzsche allocated two starts in the concept of art: Apollonic and donomistic.
As we see, there are always this duality in the world: good and evil, life and death, love and hatred. Our task is to make the right choice. But back to Nietzsche.
In relation to art, the apollonic beginning is nothing more than order and harmony, calm and even stability, but a donomission beginning — This is chaos, appling or intoxication, complete erasing of identity in mass, boring non-control art (music, for example).
Apollonic beginning There is an antipode for a donomistic, as everything is contaminated in relation to the natural, natural, condemning everything excessive and disproportionate.
Nevertheless, these two started inseparable with each other, always act together. They fight, according to Nietzsche, in the artist, in man, and always both are present in any artistic work.
Speaking about the presence of such division in other areas of Being, Nietzsche the first one who spends parallels with the culture and life of Europe, which prevails, rather, apollonic. Therefore, we can try to find some evidence of what way India goes.
Out of the above, I immediately became clear that India lives completely in power of Dionysus. Not in the sense that they all sit in barrel and drink wine — No; And the meaning is that India lives primarily with the heart, emotions, soul and only in the background looming the miser reason, and it is not always.
Speaking by Nietzsche: «In the human mind there are also two relationships to life — Dionissistic and Apollonic. Proximity to nature, instinct, passionality means a donomistic element in a person, something irrational, primitive and tragic. Apollonic start helps to make life through thinking, turning it into a dream, light, harmonic and beautiful.»
India — This is a heart, and the West — This is the mind.
And if in this way to look at things that happened and occur in India, it becomes clear that this country should not be understood through the mind. It can only feel it.
India — This is a shock from the first seconds until the last day. It is love with the taste of curry and a million other spices. This is noise, fuss. Chaos embodied in his magnificence. India — This is a fireless dragon who wureswards and follows on the heels. To merge with this creature, you need to become. You can not at any point to try to glue this dragon fire or try to point to his misconduct. Become this dragon yourself, go together with him and then — You will be born again.
Our habitual vision, nor the rumor do not work in India as it should be. Simply no desired setting, or as the computer says, no required driver. That in this case they advise? Right! You need to upgrade the driver or select any of the local and voila offered! It comes to us the ability to see, hear and feel in the language of India. Over time, we all, one way or another, get used to it, as used to the main hero of the Book of Gregory Roberts «Shantaram».
But there is something to what the usual European will not be able to get used to quite, well, or partly, so it is to the severity of local dishes. Although obviously there are those who love the jogging.
I love spices, I love this islands-sweet smell around, I love how it spreads according to my internals.
Probably, the very communication with India is like this feeling. You either sharpen and you tolerate, drinking water, or you all to taste and you choose everything around.
But not everything is so romantic and vanitally, as you could see from my enthusiastic words. For me, everything looks like that, and not otherwise, and let’s lower the rest and bring this book for the brackets, after reading, it becomes clear why I treat India with love.
In the confirmation of the foregoing, the quote of Roerich was very much remembered: «Who visited India is not a tourist, passers-by, but touched the essence of the life of the country, he never will not forget the charm of Great India anywhere».
In the meantime I am writing a book, including for myself to personally understand everything and, once again, saying the events that happened at once, I repeat the lessons who followed from them — I develop myself and strengthen my essence in present and I really hope that this book will become useful or at least just interesting to me.
Chapter 2. Hanging. Only forward
Smoothly or not very, but the time of my journey is approaching rapidly. Still a little bit and it will start for me. Approximately 3 years ago in the autumn Moscow 2016, I was conceived that we would lead and be sure to go to India. These thoughts came at all from the air, they — The result of great internal self-analysis.
I was greatly suppressed by many things that took place in my life. Close your eyes on them I could not and had to take action. Every day the routine around me was becoming more and more, and joy on the contrary — smaller. I was custodized by hand and legs with rules, duties and increased responsibility at work, failures and disappointments in creativity. Thanks to this, but mostly my way of thoughts, I have acquired a property to live according to stereotypes, because it was so easier, it was not necessary to fulfill a lot of energy, which I did not have left at that time.
Stereotypes and prejudices of my thinking were like annoying mosquitoes, they subordinate him and forced me to think and act, according to behavior patterns. They have imperceptibly drank my blood.
Trite, but snow comes grow up much faster than I would like. I began to dig what’s wrong here. It all looked wrong.
Someone in principle, someone unconsciously, but we all live for many years in such a cell. Many believe that abiding stereotyped thinking is an axiom or as a multiplication table, where 4, multiplied by 4 always gives 16.
We save our vitality and therefore it is difficult for us once again strain our brain and think «Why do I do this, and not otherwise?!». But we always hurry and we just once again try to try to understand the world around, realize it through our experience. We simply copy already well-proven template behavioral methods and thought. We, people, so more convenient, we are so easier to be accepted in this society.
I am not an exception, I was exactly the same. I was a walking stereotype and template manual. Perhaps if I did not engage in the music of half aim, which contributed to a certain circle of communication in the environment of creative people, I would remain so — walking stereotype and further, it would live, as an inanimate computer program, as an algorithm where everything is written on points.
In fact, it turned out that all these familiar plates of thinking are absolutely useless, boring and uninteresting, so I slowly began to blind with this «needles». I needed a development, as in a beautiful melody that flows forward, calling against a music journey.
Music, reading and any good creativity do not allow our consciousness and being in general to be gray and the same type every day. We, lovers of art, fantasize, imagine the non-existent worlds, unlike those who have long filled and programmed their brain with templates and stereotypes. Just two different poles or as two hemispheres of our brain. Such is Nature.
It’s all so, but the life reservoir, if you take a big scale in our planet, much wider than any stereotype. One of which, for example, is faithful in one country or one society, but in another — may have a reverse meaning. Some and the same stereotypes are unidenticious to each other, with other things being equal — This is a fact that the existence of behavior patterns becomes completely meaningless and illogical.
Soul, which is alive, can break out for these frames and survive a certain state of Qatarsis. She always strives for such an exalted state, but over time we will turn these calls to the flight of the soul deep inside ourselves, and the reasons may be completely different. But that is another story…
Speaking easier, for some India — dirt and poor, for others — This is a whole separate planet, where there is a place of everything, especially, beauty.
But I could not think that I really do it. For a while I lived in anticipation of this event. Lived awareness that «Why not, I can».
From time to time I was traded by the fear of everything to lose, he sneaked to me and discouraged from the commission of conceived. It became me to seem to me that I climbed the mind and I do a big stupidity. Time went and I only understood one thing that I would continue to listen to all my inner «I AM», Either I will do what I conceived. And I decided. Inside, I decided, I did not want to ask more «What if?!».
Struggling with his doubts, I noticed one oddity associated with fear. Where scary I’m not afraid, and where, where it’s not scary I’m afraid. Strange fear formula burst unnoticed. Really, I’m completely nervously walking on the interview or perform on stage. Quit and go to India for several months for me too like two fingers. And then I’m afraid, I don’t even want to mention, because it is true, it is not enough, but not for me. Nevertheless, inside everything spinned and spit out, as if the broth on the stove, but in sensations it was something far and as if not with me.
There was still something that was to be solved, including inside. I am from those people who is very long thinking who should bother with a new role for themselves long before and in front of how to take a life-forming decision, I can twist something in my head and not to be resolved to do this, I can’t take a lightning solutions, I need to weigh everything first, calculate, allow, finally, to decide.
But with India, this was not. This decision was gone immediately and very easily without mind. Choosing India, I did not hesitate. That would always be so it was just to make important solutions for yourself and perform new steps.
Why India, I will not be able to answer you unequivocally, several factors played here. There were my friends, colleagues, there is a rich history of both cultural and spiritual, there warmly all year round and many more similar. And india — This is a place where you can look at a different world, where you can get lost and in a happy chance to find again. Place where everything works completely differently than we used to count.
I especially remember the words of one sage and the Indian Guru Osho:
«I call India is not a country, but internal space. I call India not what exists in the geographical sense on the map. I call India what exists hidden inside you, what you have not found. India — This is your inner space. India — This is not a nation, this is a state of mind…».
I already knew in advance, somewhere inside myself, what it will be for the place where I have to go, the rest was only a question of time when I myself call out loud this direction.
After everything began to make me in my head, it’s time to share with others. The case remained for small: to inform him, inform the management of my desire to leave the company in which I spent a long and quite successful 5 years.
The lighter of course, of course, that partly strange was to talk with the boss and check out itself «And not a string?!». No, not Stroyl, wrote an application for dismissal on February 1. Came on February 1 and leaving too, only they are now divided 5 years.
The remaining couple of months before the trip will go to moral preparation for the trip. I knew that my desires and plans do not harm other people, do not plunge them in danger, and therefore I can safely realize everything that I conceived, there is nothing selfish. But I still felt the pressure on myself and foresaw the label on myself «egoist» And it’s all just for what I wanted to try to find a little happiness for myself.
I wanted to become a screenwriter of my own life at least once, not listening and not copying the surrounding. On your shoulders, I was ready to take the burden of responsibility for the decision taken, just as I am ready to take responsibility for my successes and failures.
I did not want to run away from the truth, from reality and just honestly admitted first to myself that there are things that bother me, there are things that I do not in my life, but I would like it very honestly to my soul. I allow myself to try something new, something completely different and different from my former reality. There is not a single law or rule, where it is forbidden to still be ashamed because of this. What nonsense…
We ourselves fastened themselves as stupid frameworks that such an act is perceived as a crime against the family, against society. Yes, I felt the finger on myself, stoken pointing at me, and I need to twist the words in the air «Aren `t you ashamed?! Who you exchange us?! How could you?! What are you for a person?!».
No, I’m not scary, I did nothing illegal and did not violate the draws. Said above can not be used against me in court. Yes, I’m kidding, you just don’t need to push.
Many lyrics were sorted around, but there were still some unresolved issues requiring immediate intervention. I go for immersion, you need to delay your breath. 1, 2, 3… On your marks! Attention! March!
It was more difficult to inform and voice my position to relatives, especially parents who are always worried about us a little more than it would be necessary for them, although I don’t decide what feelings to experience and how much, but because of this, some and quite ordinary things are becoming more difficult than it should actually be. It’s hard to just approach and tell the truth because she can hurt. It is possible and no need to report absolutely everything, it is for nothing.
But for me it has already been solved, which means the rest just have to learn about him. Another question how they will respond to this information that they will say that they will do? I did not have control over this and could not change anything. I reported my decision to all who followed. Some truth shocked, some are not, but there was no way back. I boldly looked into the future by enhancing the support of like-minded people, and also ignored all the protesters, although I tried to be in their skin, tried to calm and instine calm.
New 2017 I have already met with awareness that ahead of me awaits a big trip and a new life. With the same mood, I noted my 33-bit. The age of Christ. And what awaits me further?
The first winter days of the new year stretched slowly, yes so that I began to worry again «And suddenly in vain, there is still time to draw?!». Month I lived with these thoughts. They were so worn for me that I started spontaneously at the moments of the attack to open a notebook and write there everything that covered me in the stream. So it became easier. All the alarms and doubts that we tend to worry at the moments of great life changes, our inner voice is drunk, which is trying to inform us of something important. They are like shy in their eyes, you need to drive them away.
I pondered about my life — Some threads with the past I wanted to cut off, and others challenged the opposite. Recalled his childhood and noticed that already then I loved everything related to travel and adventures.
Tell me which boy does not like the book of the famous French writer Jules Verne?! He has a whole cycle of adventure works called «Unusual travel». Perhaps the most significant of which is «Around the world in 80 Days».
At all times, people were interested in the world around, they sought to give new territories, open new types of animals and plants. We are driven by a huge desire of knowledge and it is not surprising that I was visited by such thoughts about the unknown, but such a desired world, which I fantasized, which represented.
On the eve of the trip to India, I began to assemble any grains about this country, any information was needed. I was looking for her on the net, I reread hundreds of blogs and traveler sites, read the books of Vyacheslav Krasko, Valeria Shanina, Jean Belivo, Radhanath Swami. I went to lecture bloggers recently returned from Asia. I have rummaged a lot of information for a very short period of time, I watched films, documentary and slicing with Youtube in the additives. I wanted to become the same aware of everything in the world as Phileas Fogg. In the same brave and resourceful, because leaving the native land for a long time, I want to plunge into the atmosphere of the new place from curiosity, at a minimum.
It’s time to prepare for departure and collect slowly things, plan a route. In short, close debts. It turned out a very long list, from which the chill ran on his back every time I looked into it and there was full of unfulfilled. So my time has drawn. Still at work but thoughts no longer here.
The list actually helped. I began to spend a few working time on him, I began to ferment the winter evenings at home in affairs, concerning the upcoming journey. Medicines, clothes that there is still? Compass, flask, sleeping bag.
Two weeks before departure. I’m not ready yet. Another attack of doubt and fear of future.
The hardest thing in this situation — This is the need to take it. When you accept and take responsibility for your life in your own hands, I immediately appear new forces. It is like axioma. She has repeatedly cut me on the journey and in life.
Of course, when I arrived in India I had a guidebook, and a small list of places where to go, but then I realized that it was just a shell on the present way, which himself will open at the right time, hesitates himself only to feel the peace of peace , see a huge space around and the goal will come. Purpose that will bring to the true way. India, by the way, was favorable to me and led me myself — She organized events, sent me to the right places, helped in many ways.
But as long as let’s go back again in the cold february day, when my journey should start across India.
And here are the things collected, tickets purchased for an early flight because of what I had to get up straight. Waking up, I felt that I was a little scary, the fact is that every time before the road, I feel easy excitement. But it is nothing, but I can sleep on the plane. In flight, spend about 11 hours, including 2-hour transplant in Qatar. It’s time to road!
Gasha light, wear backpacks and go out into the dark and cold morning. It is not known when I get back home again. I did not know how far I fly to India, I had only a visa for six months, but there was no reverse ticket. Forewear — See. Question «when?» now does not matter anyway.
No one embarrassed exactly until I was at registration in Domodedovo. At the airport I had to have a long time and painfully undergo customs control, to explain to employees the purpose of your trip, the return time. During this time, I managed to be at the front desk twice, and once even visited the head of the border control chief. I had to prove that despite the absence of a return ticket, I did not have goals in India. In the same place in the office they for some reason needed to check my financial wealth, checked my bills and when I was convinced that I am with money — They let go of the ravoisi. Moreover, it was not about fines or debts on loans — I did not have any outstanding obligations, namely why I have no return ticket, they insisted to buy it or show a certificate of cash on his future purchase. anyway.
Anyway, I’m on board. «Pretty Motherland accompanies me!», — I thought I. «Yes, and for the better, all such bindings should be broken».
Before India had another 7 hours, when we were already high in the sky, I looked at people around and tried to understand the reason why we were in one plane together. So I distracted myself from excitement, which I experienced from the fact that I didn’t know anything about my future. Better sleep. The first step is made, the rest as arrived.