Five-star bomzhnik

I sat in the editorial office, built plans for the future, and suddenly the call: "Collect suitcases. On Friday evening you are flying on Goa". Putting the phone, I looked at my colleagues helplessly and asked quietly: "Guys and what is goa?".

The people in need began to tell that this is paradise on earth that every second resident of the Earth dreams there to get that it is cool, and everything is in such a spirit. True, in this "RAE" You can clean your teeth only with mineral water, we must treat food with great care, since after it you can sit for several days on the toilet, and generally keep the Ear Egor – India is still.

After a sleepless night, because for some reason, it was precisely the two in love with the couple in love with the love of almost seven hours of flight, I almost crawled in the building of the airport of Goa from the plane. Customs we passed quite quickly, but the desired freedom turned out to be at all what it seemed. After the air conditioners, 40-degree heat, wild moisture, as well as numerous changers, offering to change the bucks to local rupees literally collapsed. As I was explained later, the exchange of money on Goa, as well as a massage, not only lazy.

The road from the airport to North Goa, where I had to live, I read in shock. "God, in what bomb I got", -I thought grated, contemplating the landscapes sinking. Roadside chalashiki, collapsed shacks, Hindus in the projected bandages, cows, quietly walking on the roadway, flocks of homeless dogs, garbage mountains. And this is Paradise?!

Trekking on the beach A negative impression was slightly dispelled. Palm trees, sand, clean sea, and most importantly – minimum of the people. GOANANS argue that advertising "Bounty" It was 555! here.

Only I was attached to the sun bed and set my white body to the hot southern sun, as the Hindu from the beach cafe arose and began to persistently offer various drinks. I, as I could with my knowledge of English at the level of the second grade of primary school, explained that the money for local rupees did not have time to change, so I have nothing to pay.

– What problems, let’s give dollars, I myself and change them, – Hindu helpfully suggested.

"I also found a idiot! Hold your pocket wider! Maybe you are still the keys to the apartment to give where the money is lying?" – I thought I. politely refused.

What was my surprise when, after half an hour, this very Hindu, which,, as it turned out, was called Radha, brought me a liter bottle of cold water. I once again began to explain that over the past time nothing has changed, I have no rupees. They say a lot of you, of course, thank you, in plus forty cold water – this is what it is necessary, but "Ai dont haw mani". Radha’s calm could only envy: they say, drink and do not worry about anything, if something else need, juice, tea, coffee, omelet, zovi.

– Money? Not a problem, pay tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. Here it is normal. Everything is so paid here.

In my head, the plans for criminal orders began to be born. Score as much as possible every food and water, say that I will pay tomorrow, and herself to another beach and there to turn the same asphar. This is savings! But from such an idea I had to abandon, because the next beach is half an hour walk. As a result, I took the water with a solid intention a little later pay and asked Radha that this ship stands 200 meters from the coastline. History shook me to the depths of the soul.

It turns out, a few years ago some Hindu captain, drunk to the loss of the pulse, drove this stranded tanker. In order to remove it from the Meli, a lot of money was required, but the local authorities were regretted, so it stands here and rust. And a year ago, our extremals were taken to the tanker and largely so that everything was visible, wrote: "DMD (i.e "Domodedovo" abbreviated). Moscow". The funniest thing in this story is that they climbed into the tanker, but they could not get a clutch from there. Had their government helicopter to take.

Five-star bomzhnik

By the way, it turns out that the Indians love our very much. In honor of my arrival on the beach, three our flags made by handicraft. As Radha told, they simply found several rags of white, red and blue and sewed them on the ambulance hand. I have never seen such bullying over our flag, but it was still nice.

Despite the fact that Goa is one of the states of India, the locals consider themselves almost a separate country. Well, still, Goa is almost the only state of India, where 30 percent of the Catholics population. Gun girls, unlike other Indian women, marry in 28 years. Goanians love potatoes almost the same as the ours. They put it in everything, in which you can put, even in rice. Another feature of the Goa People is truly an extraordinary slowness. If in the cafe you ordered fresh juice, then you will bring it to you at least after forty minutes. Hot dishes appear on the table no earlier than in an hour.

– And what are you surprised? They are here everything is smoking the clock round day. I mean not cigarettes. And under this case I don’t want to hurry anywhere. You hurt to the air, you will certainly feel a sweet smell, "said my guide Lesha in the first evening of staying on Goa. – Think why the hippie from all over the world flies like bees on honey, and live for half a year? You still did not offer grass? Then wait, be sure to offer.

Lesha turned out to be right – he really did not have a penalty. Survey offered everywhere: in restaurants, in the hotel, on the beach, in a taxi. Police on this business closes eyes. Yes, it is not surprising that Goa is considered to be a paradise, how else, if everything is here "Flying".

However, most of all I was struck by me. It seemed to me that India is a country of tea. "Indian tea – the best tea in the world", – Always spoke and everywhere. But I did not like this Indian tea, everywhere, wherever I asked, tea had only in bags.

Despite the fact that Goa remembers me with one big garbage, which lives in the state of the eternal buzz, to leave India was a little sorry. However, all my sad thoughts dispelled all the same two couples of lovers with whom I flew to Goa. They again all seven hours of flight were unrestrained sex.

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